Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Renaissance Rebuttal

Just to fill you in on the true side of the story about Elf and his escapades in Amsterdam:

The real reason that he did not run was because he spent most of his waking hours either reenacting "Half Baked" and "How High", or cross training in the Red Light District. I'd say he got some pretty good workouts in, and his mind was completely exhausted from all of the incredibly deep thinking about frogs and his new inspiring sport comedy film project, "Toad the Line". It'll be good.

And this is directed at Elf himself: You did not eat a lot of "crappy food." Just because your breakfast didn't come in a box with the U.S.R.D.A. content and "Part of a balanced breakfast" printed on the side doesn't mean that it was bad for you. Omelettes, bagels, banana pancakes, pasta, Thai food, and Indian food (both with meat AND vegetables) can all be part of a good diet. True, beer and soda are junk food. But, you only had half of a small beer and no more Coke than you would at home. Perhaps you feel like crap because your body realized that it would again be forced to live off of Cocoa Puffs and burgers from Ryleighs.

And sorry about thinking that you were kidding about the half. If this ever happens again, simply ask the night before, "When do we need to get up in order to get to the race?" and I would gladly realize that you were serious. And then I'd make sure Kristen got up so she could go with you to the race. I'll catch you at the finish.

Side note: I also didn't run the whole time in Amsterdam, but like Elf I cross trained by playing marathon matches of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Board Game", playing Logball (like Stickball but fewer people), trying a little Put the Ball in the Hole, winning at "Blue 9" Uno and Mucho, and staring intensely at hookers.
I'll begin training again in a week or two, with my sights set on April's volley of longer races in Vienna, such as one or two half marathons and (no promises) a marathon. I'll be planning on putting in another hard week of Amsterdam cross training some time soon.

Have a happy Halloween everyone. We don't really have that here. I'd be jealous, except I have the "Transformers" DVD and you don't. Ha.

4 comments:

Casper said...

Elf does not realize that what he eats in US is really the crappy food. His body is probably in preservative and artificial color and flavoring withdrawal.

Terence aka LT said...

HEY... I HAVE THE TRANSFORMERS DVD! (BootLeg)

RM said...

Does it surprise anyone that Terence has the bootleg copy?? Haha. I have it too. We should have a team viewing here this week after our trip to the Olive Garden!

Casper said...

that movie is awful!!!!!