Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Drugs I Abuse

All this talk of nutrition got me thinking: what about all the bad stuff I put in my body? Hence the post entitled, Drugs I abuse.

First, I would point out that I don't really do drugs--I don't even take aspirin. But I do "self medicate" in a number of ways:

(1). Running. I abuse the hell out of this one. But it does keep me sane, instills a positive self image and prevents obesity. And everyone knows how I feel about that.

(2). Coffee. I drink lots of coffee. Caffeinated, sugared out, with heavy cream. Coffee increases the likelihood of me showing up to work on-time. Coffee also provides a great excuse to invite girls into your house, which is generally a good thing, unless they are obese. If they are, suggest to her that she try out drug # (1) above.

(3). Alcohol. I do abuse alcohol. I usually drink when I feel like talking to people I normally wouldn't talk to. This is related to the issue discussed under drug # (2). Sometimes it is easier to take tequila shots than it is to motivate someone to run.

(4). Sex. Without this, I would probably end up running a whole lot more. The problem with sex is that it tends to force one to confront their insecurities and emotions. All of which can lead to any of the drugs listed above.

So, as you see, I do some drugs. They are all linked in a self propogating feed-back cycle and the net result is that I feel fairly healthy (physically and otherwise) most of the time. Remove one of these, and my life would surely come crashing down--which would probably lead me to real drugs.


RM said...

I abuse:

Vanilla Coke

My credit card as it pertains to signing up for expensive races.

Andy G said...

You forgot cocaine.

RM said...

ahh shit, cocaine. I always forget about cocaine.