Thursday, December 4, 2008

Most insane running website ever

I stumbled onto a letsrun thread about this only because the original poster's name was "Stringer Bell" (a character from "the wire").

Some highlights include the club history section (paranoid biography), the training and performance updates (his personal goal is a sub-60 min half marathon. His method is to run that pace in workouts for as long as he can - apparently the guy is up to 425 meters), the world and american records set by club members which is of course blank, and the "services" section ($100,000 fee for club member participation in track meets outside the US).

Some people say it's a joke - but, there's way too much content to be a joke.

Enjoy.

15 comments:

RM said...

That is absolutely not real; there's no way. It's got to be some kid's college project or something.

There is a lot of content but it's just so, so...douchey, it's go to be false.

THE KRIS said...

does this guy really mean "club" or is he just misspelling "cult"?

Johnnie Cochran said...

This could be authentic, my hypothesis is based on his links to other "training" sites that are just as wacky. I was invited to a wedding in Austin recently, I will have to check this club out.

RM said...

Somebody (and by somebody I mean Alyssa) should email the contact.

I feel like the club could be authentic but this website is asinine.

First of all, if they were high schoolers in the 80s, they'd be as old as Kris and Ben (almost). They'd be in their late 30s at least, so no shit they wouldn't be qualifying for the Olympics.

I think a little more research is deserved; somebody should look up this high school, although chances are there won't be much on it by way of the 80s, since there was no Internet in Virginia back then.

Ben said...

some guys from austin have posted on the letsrun thread (http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=2788412&page=0).

Apparently the guy is real - and he's insane. He was kicked out of a running club because he tried to get people fired for disagreeing with him. He would call up their places of work saying that he had proof that they'd been slacking off at their jobs.

Ben said...

OMG - it gets better. go to the forums at http://www.smartlifeinstitute.com/. There are threads on his paranoid delusions about the club that kicked him out - his thoughts on gay marriage etc.

Also - the posts include his picture. (waiting for a comment from ryan)

Jen said...

Ben, I'm not sure if I hate you or love you. I should have been spending my planning period doing actual work, but instead I got sucked into that insane website. My favorite is his theory on cavity fillings. If you haven't read it, it's a gem.

http://www.theetgtrackclub.com/documents/Reversing%20Teeth%20Cavities.pdf

alyssa said...

The following e-mail has been sent (from a new e-mail addy, obvi):
Dear Marshall,

Holler for a dollar. I should probably introduce myself before I go any further: My name is Alyssa, and I am an ultrarunner hailing from the Baltimore region in Maryland. I recently stumbled upon your website and was speechless. Speechless but inspired, that is! Your group of runners - many of whom are well into their 30's - have quite the training regimen! Being only 23 myself, I thought my days of speed were closing in on me fast, but after seeing your website, I now look forward to having the need for speed for the next decade to come. Can you tell me any more about your training? It seems as if your principal for racing is to train at the speed of which you want to race, and gradually increase that distance over time to your ultimate race distance goal. Is my analysis correct? Can that help me? If I can run 15 miles at a 7:30 pace now, how long will I have to train until I can maintain that pace in my next 50 mile race? I surely think this is possible in the next year if I follow your running training as well as your "training for life" ideals, right?

I am also part of a spirited group of runners in this area, many of whom will call me crazy for my training goals. What do you tell the people who call you crazy? Is there any way to sway their opinion of you?

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you!

Alyssa

PS - I especially loved the quotes by Oprah and Dr. Phil McGraw in your ETG Training for Life: Mechanisms of Functional Romantic Relationship packet.
PPS - The Breakfast Club and Good Will Hunting are also my fav movies!

Ben said...

even better than the cavity document is one titled "Mechanisms of Functional Romantic Relationship" (http://www.theetgtrackclub.com/documents/img14007.pdf).
Arjun - take notes - especially at the end of page 20.

cgb said...

and I now have a new homepage.

the amount of his articles i'll be reading during work will become the stuff of legends.

alyssa said...

it's official, this man is a d-bag. He had no interest in playing along with my e-mail, see his below response:
----- Can you tell me any more about your training?

The link is to the ETG Training Program.
http://www.theetgtrackclub.com/documents/ETG%20master%20of%20sport%201992.pdf

---------------


----- Is my analysis correct?

Yes.
----------------


----- Can that help me?

I'm not big on ultra running. The Physical Therapist for my track club coaches several of them though. He uses
a similar training program as I do for shorter races. His athletes do well.
Please see the race reports his athletes have posted on his forum at www.smartlifeinstitute.com.
-----------------
----- If I can run 15 miles at a 7:30 pace now, how long will I have to train until I can maintain that pace in my next 50 mile race?

However long it takes. Its best to set a standardized distance that you add to the run following each successful workout.
Whether that be one mile or two or four. Your rate of progression will be determined by your body's ability to adapt to
the training.
--------------------
----- I surely think this is possible in the next year if I follow your running training as well as your "training for life" ideals, right?

I don't know.
-------------------
------- What do you tell the people who call you crazy?

Nothing.
-------------------
Is there any way to sway their opinion of you?
Train in the manner necessary, then run the goal times you've set.
People's opinions don't restrict your ability to train and race.

Ben said...

alyssa - you are awesome for taking it that far. If you posted that on letsrun you would become a hero there. sometimes the wizard of oz really is just a man behind a curtain. At least now I don't feel so bad making fun of him.

alyssa said...

haha, I sort of feel like taking it far is not so much with the e-mail as much as if I end up calling him when I'm bored at work today.

RM said...

1) Ben used "OMG"

2) Alyssa made up a new email address, but told him her real name, her age and where's she from. And also said "holler for a dollar" - nobody will ever take you seriously if you use that as an intro.

3) I refuse to look at this website and will not read any of the articles or look at pictures. It is now on my banned lists along with youtube and the other interweb sites you Obama lovers love so much.

fbg said...

Actually the article about healthy relationships wasn't too bad, but it reminded me of a high school running camp where they told us all to copy down about two hundred quotes because they were so good. They were things like "Every day is a great day," and "Goal-oriented people find ways," which don't really mean anything, but they make sense under really really obvious circumstances.